It will come as no surprise to you that here at The Sleep Room
we are big bed fans. Big fans, and fans of big beds. We love them all - wooden beds,
beds, contemporary beds, French beds,
beds... Hey, we even love guest
beds. But there's one kind of bed we just don't get: Round
Beds. How do they work? It's not that we don't like them … it's
just that we don't understand them.
For starters, there's the linen. Let's assume you've found someone who
can make round bedding, but it's confusing enough trying to put on
a duvet cover when you're a bit sleepy. There's not one of us here
that can imagine trying to get a round duvet into a round duvet
cover. And what about the pillows? Where do you put them? How do
you decide which edge of the circle is best? And then, once you've
worked that out, are you left with angular corners flapping over
the curved edge of the mattress? These details worry us here at The
Sleep Room, they really do.
As if these problems weren't enough, there is the intimidating
heritage of the round bed. Hugh Hefner used to do all of his work
from his spinning circular bed at the Playboy Mansion - as recently
as last year he described the aforementioned luxury bed as his
'most treasured possession' in a Guardian interview. Elvis had a
round bed covered in white fur and liked it so much that he gave
his one-time girlfriend Ann Margaret one. Alice Cooper was given a
round bed by Groucho Marx, but he clearly felt the same as us about
it, as he is said to have passed it on to Paul McCartney.
in The Silencers ... watch out for the round bed at the end
Maybe it's that there will never be a bed as good as the one in
1966 spy flick The Silencers that troubles us: in the
movie Dean Martin has a round upholstered bed that not only folds
up into the wall but moves right across the room and can even
transport him to his bathtub. Even Austin Powers' homage seems
beyond insignificant in comparison.
Then again, perhaps we're just over-thinking things. After all,
if there is a round bed out there that is shaped like a delicious
burger, how can we not love them? The bed and duvet are the bun,
the mattress is the meat and the pillow … well that's the ketchup.
We could learn to love round beds after all.