Do you like sleeping? Of course you do. That's why you're
looking at beds online. But do you
really like sleeping? As in … enough to try and analyse your
sleeping positions? Of course you do! Everyone is curious about
what their unconscious nocturnal activities say about them. So let
us at The Sleep Room introduce you to The Secret Language of
Sleep by Evany Thomas.
Published by the US hipsters at McSweeney's (run by Dave Eggers,
cooler-than-thou lit-kid and author of A Heartbreaking Work of
Staggering Genius), this cute little blue book is an instant
must-read for anyone who has a luxury bed but still wonders about whether
they're really giving bedtime 110% devotion. More importantly, this
innocent looking mini-tome promises fascinating insights into the
state of your relationship … based on the positions you sleep
Describing our bed as 'the one place that holds all the
answers', Thomas has even included a handy little guide to each of
the positions discussed - from those that promote sleep among
insomniacs to those that work well in sleeping bags.
Of course, the first position discussed is Classic Spoons,
something that is flexible enough to be applied to either cosy
upholstered beds or the
unforgiving rainy camper's tent. Remember this, dear readers: 'a
couple could spend an entire lifetime exploring all of Spoons'
possibilities, and indeed many do'.
Oprah was right when she featured the book in her O
magazine, calling it 'Hugely entertaining and deadpan smart'.
But there is one position that truly alarms us: Bread and Spread.
It is described as requiring the 'lucky conjunction of two very
specific people: someone whose soundest sleep can only be found
lying under the significant warmth and weight of another person,
and someone who enjoys the precarious position and high-wire
balance it takes to spend an entire night lying on top of someone
else's shifting body'. We'll be honest: it unnerves us. Oh yes it
does. But we want to know if anyone can do it. We'd only recommend
trying it in one of our larger French
beds, but we look forward to hearing back from any intrepid
sleepers who have attempted the Bread & Spread. Bonne chance,