The Secret Language of Sleep

Posted July 28th, 2010

Do you like sleeping? Of course you do. That's why you're looking at beds online. But do you really like sleeping? As in … enough to try and analyse your sleeping positions? Of course you do! Everyone is curious about what their unconscious nocturnal activities say about them. So let us at The Sleep Room introduce you to The Secret Language of Sleep by Evany Thomas.

Published by the US hipsters at McSweeney's (run by Dave Eggers, cooler-than-thou lit-kid and author of A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius), this cute little blue book is an instant must-read for anyone who has a luxury bed but still wonders about whether they're really giving bedtime 110% devotion. More importantly, this innocent looking mini-tome promises fascinating insights into the state of your relationship … based on the positions you sleep in.

Describing our bed as 'the one place that holds all the answers', Thomas has even included a handy little guide to each of the positions discussed - from those that promote sleep among insomniacs to those that work well in sleeping bags.

Of course, the first position discussed is Classic Spoons, something that is flexible enough to be applied to either cosy upholstered beds or the unforgiving rainy camper's tent. Remember this, dear readers: 'a couple could spend an entire lifetime exploring all of Spoons' possibilities, and indeed many do'.

Oprah was right when she featured the book in her O magazine, calling it 'Hugely entertaining and deadpan smart'. But there is one position that truly alarms us: Bread and Spread. It is described as requiring the 'lucky conjunction of two very specific people: someone whose soundest sleep can only be found lying under the significant warmth and weight of another person, and someone who enjoys the precarious position and high-wire balance it takes to spend an entire night lying on top of someone else's shifting body'. We'll be honest: it unnerves us. Oh yes it does. But we want to know if anyone can do it. We'd only recommend trying it in one of our larger French beds, but we look forward to hearing back from any intrepid sleepers who have attempted the Bread & Spread. Bonne chance, sleepers!